Personal Journal (2)

January 16, 2014

Feeling ok this morning after being up awhile. 3rd day without prednisone! Breakfast was sautéed spinach. Kale, blackberries, banana smoothie. Off to the Chiropractor and then to office.

Allie emailed me this morning and wants me to come down once a week. Yes, to that. It is just how I roll. Not sure it is me time, but God has given me that giving spirit and I must use it. Plus, it fills a spot in my soul that I could never explain!

The kings of the earth take their stand and the rulers gather together against The Lord and against his anointed one. Psalm 2:2

Had to add my bible verse today. I forgot this morning.

Went to Chiropractor again. He says I am testing that my liver needs help, my left lung, small intestine, and that the culprit is radiation, and petroleum and chemicals and alcohol in lotions and cleaners. He also said I have some scars that are not helping. I am going on some whole food supplements and try some light therapy on my scars.

Lunch I had 12oz gluten free protein drink and a banana.

Randy thinks my limp is a habit and thinks part of my "problem" is my age. Ticks me off!

Supper tonight was liver, onions, bacon, and sautéed green beans in olive oil, garlic and sea salt.

 As I reflect on this season of my life, I feel so many emotions. I feel joy because I have come so far in getting my health back. I also feel sadness for the pain and suffering I went through, but also for what I put my husband and family through, even though I did not have control over any of it. In October of 2013, I had a serious unexplained right hip and leg muscle issue. This lasted for several months. I developed a limp and there was clicking in my hip. I realize my husband had no idea the pain I was in. I suffered every day so much. There were times I did not know what to do. I was so uncomfortable and in pain, I could not sleep at night.  My specialist would do little to help. She insisted it was just sciatica and did not believe myopathy caused pain.  I also developed a large hard lump in the right side of my calf muscle that later was determined was scar tissue that would never go away. I was going through all of this while still trying to care for our home and go to the office to help run our business. Therefore, when my husband suggested my limp was becoming a habit and an age thing, it was beyond what I wanted to hear. When one is working so hard to heal and in so much pain, apparently it “ticked” me off.

I was seeing my Chiropractor for a new technique he was trained in. He started me on new supplements and did light therapy on some scars he thought were contributing to my health issues. I had 3 C sections and of course my muscle biopsy scar. When he suggested my liver needed some help, it made perfect sense because my elevated CPK was the reason my liver enzymes were also elevated. Everything filters through the liver. I have learned not to settle on a provider’s opinion as being written in stone. Seek more opinions. Be my own voice and driver of my care.

My daughter Allie was going back to work as a nurse after her maternity leave and asked me to sit for my new granddaughter once a week. This would mean I would have to travel an hour in a car each way (not good with my hip and leg pain) and care for a new baby. How would I carry this child, let alone climb their stairs?  I of course said yes! This child was my Joy! I had been helping quite often since the day she was born. This little girl gave me inspiration to keep fighting hard. I later learned that my daughter was quite nervous about leaving me with their baby 7-8 hours a day for the same apprehensions I had. I will admit some days were not easy, I took everything slow, including the stairs. I never had an issue carrying her or caring for her.  I felt so needed that it ended up being one of the best things I could have agreed to. I would have dinner made and several baskets of laundry folded when My daughter got home from the hospital. Truth be told, I was tired when I got home, they were long days. But some of the best days during a very hard time. I usually listened to a book on my drive home. I continued to sit for a few years, and I will always cherish those memories.  To this day I enjoy all 3 of my grandchildren, and I often get to sit for them days at a time.

This was the night Mila was born. I got to hold my newly born granddaughter!

One of my favorite things to do- Rocking and singing my grand kids to sleep.

Two happy girls here! This is what JOY looks like.