Why Me?

When I first realized I was ill, I was in denial. NOT ME! I will just work out more. I must be getting out of shape and older. I will ignore this and in time this will go away. Deep down I realized I had a BIG problem and needed help. I was frightened.  After my diagnosis I was sad and defeated. Why me? The plan was for me to care for others, not them caring for me.

After the shock wore off, I decided to fight. A few months into life after my diagnosis, (which involved a medication schedule, physical therapy, and many doctor appointments) the old, determined Tracy stopped asking “why me?”!

Fast forward 11 years and again I am asking “why me?”. I started this journey to heal in a more natural way with the goal to be off any medication I was initially taking. I never expected to be in the public eye like I am. I did my first interview with Phoenix Helix Podcast.

I also wrote a short paragraph for her about having to go back on medication.

I have now done 4 video interviews for a Doctor who has an on-line program and then I started this blog!

I have people contacting me all the time who are ill and looking for hope. Why me? I am not very smart, I am not a great writer, and I can’t spell very well. I dislike public speaking and my feelings get hurt easily. I have asked God this question often and He seems to push me forward. I think I am called to do this as much for me as for others. I keep pushing forward even on the days I feel like staying in bed (thankfully those are rare these days) or laying on the sofa for hours. Through our online community, I have met many unbelievable people. People who I try to give hope and support to while also gaining hope and support in turn.

I could have never imagined my life would end up like this. Believe me when I say that I have no hopes of becoming famous for helping people navigate natural health and healing. It would be great to be famous for my golf or singing abilities. Even those activities would not be easy though. There would be too many people watching and I would have to perform under very stressful conditions. I dislike hearing myself sing and talk and especially watching myself. I have been a soloist most of my life but believe me, it has never been easy or comfortable. I just do things because I have been given a talent and feel when the good Lord gives you a gift and an opportunity I cannot sit by and ignore it.

I guess the reason for this post is to let all of you know that it is not easy for me to put myself out there.  My motive is not wealth or fame. I want to heal and help others heal. We have an outbreak of illness and my journey needs to be told. God has plans for us all and right now he is steering me in this direction. I try to trust and rely on him daily in all things. I could have not done any of this, including my healing and finding the courage to put my voice and words out for all to see and hear without Him. 

I will try to do the best I can through this blog. I will keep researching and learning to help others recover from this awful disease. Autoimmune disease is nasty and life changing. I pray you find hope through my journey and grow in your faith along the way.